Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

So I realized nearly every time I talk with one of you fucks you tell me all about how you’d do anything for me. Really… ANYTHING? Somehow I’m not so convinced that this is true.

You see in the heat of the moment you say you would, but I think when it comes down to it what you really mean is your willing to do whatever I want whatever I ask of you as long as it fits in to your little cookie cutter fetish! Princess Megan and I actually had a quite hilarious little conversation about this just the other night.

It started out as a little bitch fest about how pathetic you all are and what annoys us the most. Then we decide why not record and sell it to you lame ass losers! (LOL… any opportunity to capitalize on you retards!)

Actually, I personally think we’re doing you a favor. I mean wouldn’t you jump at the chance to be a little fly on the wall during one of our little talks? What’s more is you can actually use this occasion to learn a little bit more about your favorite princesses and what annoys them the most… giving you a leg up at staying in our good graces. You really would have to be a world class idiot not to take advantage of this opportunity we have presented you with.

All this talk of course inspired me to start creating some tasks designed specifically around the concept of you devoting yourself to me, and ways you can reaffirm that devotion on a daily basis.

My first devotional task and our recordings are now available for you to purchase. I suggest you get to it LOSER! You don’t what to miss out on this amazing opportunity to really start proving you ARE willing to do whatever it takes to keep Princess happy!



Have any of you ever heard the Ke$ha song Blah Blah Blah? Well if you haven’t you really should. In fact here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3taEuL4EHAg now go check it out. I TOTALLY feel like this could be my theme song. “… think you’ll be gettin this nah nah nah!”

Just the other night I went out with some girlfriends, and you wouldn’t believe the complete fucks who thought they could impress me! All that was spilling out of their pathetic mouths was a bunch of random crap about themselves and why I should be interested in them… as if I really cared as if they stood any chance what so ever getting in my pants!  “Oh baby your so hot!” “Oh baby you and I would look  so good together!” HA!

All I really heard was a bunch of BLAH BLAH BLAH especially after one of them let it slip that they were broke! They were actually quite hot, but so not for me. You see hotness doesn’t really even factor with me.

First and foremost you have to have money and A LOT of it in order to keep and maintain my attention. Secondly, you have to be gullible enough to believe that I want more than just your money, or I suppose pathetic enough to not care. And lastly you must be very very generous with me.

If you possess all three of those requirements then you stand a chance at keeping me around. Of course I’d never fuck you, but really my attentions and affections (pretend or otherwise) are far more than you deserve to begin with.

On another note… I’ve had some pretty irritating calls lately. It’s becoming pretty clear that many of you think I’m playing a “character.” I want to assure you that that is not the case this is me and I LOVE who I am. I love my life and all the things and people I choose to fill it with. I use pathetic fucks to maintain the life I have created for myself, and I know I deserve to do so.

I’m gorgeous, smart, talented, and all in all pretty damn AMAZING. If you’re calling me cause your looking for a fantasy girl to play a role that gets you off, don’t bother. I’m the real deal if you like and want a girl who is what she says she is and wants to humiliate you, get a good laugh at your expense, tell you why you are so far beneath me, and make you do things you don’t want anyone else to know about and then blackmail your over it than that’s exactly what you’ll get from me. I AM THAT GIRL!

I love reinforcing to you what a dumb ass faggot loser you are! It brings me pleasure to put you in your rightful place; it’s so not an act, so don’t waste my time if your not looking for just that and don’t get pissy with me when I don’t “break that character.” For those of you looking for just that keeping your Princess happy will ensure that all I have to offer you and more will be my absolute pleasure to give! Otherwise (LOL) stop talking that BLAH BLAH BLAH!